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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28116567">I Just Remember, I Was Lonely</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lumaladae/pseuds/Lumaladae'>Lumaladae</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Nether Ghostinnit [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>? I think?, Angst, Ghost!Tommy, Not Beta Read, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, The Nether (Minecraft), help me, i honestly have no tags for this, its open ended for a reason you figure it out, not beta read i dont have anyone to read it lmaoo, the slightest bit of a happy ending at the end, tommys got voices in his head oohhnoo, tubbo doesnt trust dream at a l l, wilbur schlatt and techno are only mentioned though</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:22:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,179</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28116567</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lumaladae/pseuds/Lumaladae</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>TommyInnit tried to swim in lava</p><p>The whole server saw it clearly. A haunting sight that needed no explanation. Tubbo had sent his friend to die.</p><p>Tubbo had already started to regret his decision, it had started right after he watched Tommy walk off with Dream. He regretted it every day that passed.<br/>But now it was clear. A death was on his hands, his best friend's last life.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>No Romantic Relationship(s), Toby Smith | Tubbo &amp; TommyInnit, platonic only wtf go away</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Nether Ghostinnit [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2091354</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>686</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Just Remember, I Was Lonely</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello! a few things-<br/>this took me ten days to finish, so thank you for reading! the reason it took so long? procrastination.<br/>if you see any typos, its because my keyboard is rude to me, dont hesitate to tell me if you find one!<br/>i worked on this whole book listening to the music from the nether. it sets the mood a lot easier then i thought it would, so if you want to give it a try, be my guest!</p><p>if you are sensitive to suicide/suicidal thoughts please do not read this! its only brought up in the first part but it is mentioned (not by name) in the rest.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Tommy watched the portal with sad eyes, watching as the three faded into it, leaving him in the nether. Without a goodbye, just leaving. Like he wasn't there. The last one through was Ghostbur, who only gave him a worried looking smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy had been trying hard to focus on their voices as they walked through the nether, but once they were gone, nothing shielded him from his thoughts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Go through? </span>
  </em>
  <span>He shook his head, angry at his own thoughts for thinking something so stupid. </span>
  <em>
    <span>But is it really such a bad idea? </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hesitantly walked forward, reaching out to touch the obsidian. It was warm to the touch. His eyes drifted, and finally the purple swirls caught them. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Touch it. </span>
  </em>
  <span>This time, he agreed. </span>
  <em>
    <span>How much has to touch before you go through? </span>
  </em>
  <span>It was a good question… His hand drifted towards the purple swirls of the portal, his mind not quite processing that he was getting closer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Stop it!</span>
  </em>
  <span> His mind yelled, and he pulled his hand back like the particles had burned him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What the fuck, dumbass! </span>
  </em>
  <span>Tommy took a deep breath before pushing away from the obsidian. He knew how close he had gotten, he could feel the temperature change on his fingertips. A harsh cold against the rest of the blazingly hot nether. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A surge of rage ran through him as he realized how truly stupid the idea was. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It wasn't a good question, it was a test to see how fast you could die. </span>
  </em>
  <span>His thoughts angrily told him. He held his head in his hands, stepping back onto the path behind him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Isn't that the point?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy froze. </span>
  <em>
    <span>It very much is not.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Think about it. You're stuck with the ghost of your insane brother, your best friend left you, your father is off god knows where, hanging with your anarchist brother. Who's left? </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy took a breath in through his teeth. He didn't want to think right now. He knew what side would win, he knew where he had ended up. He sighed, letting his hands fall back to his sides. The red and yellow glow of the nether pulled his eyes away from the portal in front of him, and he let it. He didn't want to see the portal, much less who would come through it. He made his way over to the edge of the thick path, crouching down to look at the striders below. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was crouching almost to the floor, his arms hooked around the front of his legs, with his chin in his knees. He stared into the lava, hoping the slow pops and changing colors would pull him from the thoughts that plagued his mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You're alone. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately, the view didn't help. His mind kept talking, rambling, and soon he was blankly staring into the lava while his mind took over. Arguing over his life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Just jump in, no ones stopping you. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You know that isn't a good idea.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>But you could be free!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You'd leave so many people.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You know they dont care now.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So deep in his own thoughts, he didn't even realize someone coming through the portal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All he knew was the pops of the lava calling to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You don't know that, they still love you!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy laughs for a second. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Doesn't feel like it. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He felt crazy. He felt so unreasonably insane for agreeing with the dark part of his mind. It had a point though… He was alone. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The only one by your side is dead already. You could join him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy reached a hand out to the lava, like he could even touch it from all the way up. It wasn't such a bad idea to him anymore. Of course both sides were right, but one was just guessing. Hoping that things would be okay. The other was… well… Tommy shook his head and wrapped his arm back around his legs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Someone stood next to Tommy, placing dirt under the boy's feet. As his view of the lava was blocked, he turned to look at the figure. It was Dream.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Of course its Dream.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dream crouched down on the dirt in front of Tommy, and put his hand on the younger's shoulder. “It's not your time to die yet, Tommy.” he said behind the cold emotionless mask.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy couldn't help but laugh. “Says you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's never my time to die. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You say that and then tell me how I'll die if I go through the portal. You're basically dangling it in front of my face.” Tommy says. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dream seems to recoil at this, taking his hand off of Tommy’s shoulder. Tommy stands up, continuing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What if I took you up on that? Would you really be the person to take my last life if I went through? And for what? A house? You've burned Tubbos house countless times, and I watched you blow up mine not even two days ago! You never had any life on the line!” Tommy pressed the palms of his hands against his eyes. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dream stands up, not sure what to say. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You've gone out of your way to break things of ours, and let other people do it too! But only hold someone accountable when it's against your precious George?” Tommy threw his hands out at Dream, motioning around them. “And then you act like you care when- when this is what I get?” Tears gather in the boy’s eyes. “It was a stupid prank.” He whispers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Have you decided? </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Tommy, don't do it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just got everything back too. Since I can't go back there's... not much of a reason anymore, huh?” He whispered, looking past Dream. He had given in. There wasn't much he could do in the first place. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tommy, don't do this-” Dream started, but the boy had already run past him. He quickly turned to catch the boy's arm, but he was too late. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had jumped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You're free now. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was the last thought Tommy had before his back slammed into the lava. It felt like concrete, but it didn't burn. It was over before he could register the pain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>TommyInnit tried to swim in lava</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---------- </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was cold. The nether wasn't hot anymore. It felt like the overworld in the fall. Tommy didn't exactly know where he was, but as he looked around, the familiar colors calmed him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of the first things that came to mind was to move. To explore. So he did. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy wandered, slowly moving though the places he deemed easy enough to get through. Soon he found a portal with nothing around it, just a small wooden bridge over a gap. He hesitantly walked over, remembering words said to him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘You'll die if you go through.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Was it a rule? It might be well known that the portals kill you right? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn't know. So he waited, sitting next to the frame. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn't exactly have anything else to do did he? So he waited.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he sat, memories faded in and out of his mind. Logstedshire, Ghostbur, and Tubbo were very clear in his memories. There was a boat ride, but all he could remember was looking into the clothed back of the person in front of him. A green hoodie. He could remember Pogtopia, Schlatt, and who Ghostbur used to be. Those memories felt a little fuzzy around the edges, but still clear in his mind. Memories of the name Technoblade and a large explosion became known in his mind, but he didn't know details about either. The farthest back he could remember was a small family. More specifically, the death of said family, and the faded faces of a new one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that was it, that's all he knew. And it brought up a lot of questions in the boy's mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Did he like Tubbo? He did the same thing Schlatt did, right? They both took him away from his home. He decided that he did not like Tubbo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Do portals actually kill you? He never got a memory that confirmed or denied it, so that one  hung there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Who was the person in the boat? It seemed to fit in the Lodsteadshire part of the timeline, but he couldn't put a name or face to the hoodie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How did Ghostbur end up a ghost? How did he die? Tommy had memories of who he was when he was alive, and how he went crazy. But that didn't answer anything, so again, that one hung there.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Who is Technoblade? The name comes up alot in Pogtopia, and a few times in Logsteadshire, but there's not a lot of information even then. Maybe they were friends.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <span>His thinking didn't help, only really answering one of his many questions. He continued to wait, not even sure what for. Maybe for someone to find him? None of his memories were in the nether, maybe he got here by accident?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he waited, he looked down at his hands. They were gray, like Ghostbur’s. His skin was blotchy, an irritated red crackled over his dull arms. It was easier to see at his fingertips, where the red took over his skin completely. It looked like he just got out of a too hot shower.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy thought for a moment. If him and Ghostbur looked the same, did that mean he was dead too? It seemed reasonable to assume, since humans being a pale grey didn't exactly mean good health. He dropped his hands, sighing. If he was dead, how did he die? The question didn't seem to interest him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn't get bored exactly, just curious as he got up to look around again. He followed the path of mismatched blocks, soon coming up to a manmade ledge. There was no way to get down without getting hurt, and he didn't have anything, so he sat at the edge. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he sat, he swung his feet. There wasn't really much to do in the nether, but he didn't mind. There wasn't any purpose to rush through anything, so the calm felt nice. He felt calm. Sure, listening to the pops of the lava felt oddly familiar, but it didn't bother him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Soon, he was in his thoughts again, trying to figure out the little questions one by one. It wasn't really working, but it kept him busy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tommy?” a weary voice called.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy didn't respond to the name, but responded to the sound of another human voice. He looked down at the netherrack below, seeing a man dressed in a green hoodie. He had a mask on, white wood with a black smile painted onto it. Somewhere deep in the boy's mind, distrust of this man made itself clear. It bloomed through his thoughts and screamed hatred of him. </span>
  <em>
    <span>A green hoodie.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Confusion flooded his mind, was this man the person in the boat? He didn't try to answer. Just a small wave down to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man stared for a second, fumbling with a small communicator. He started to tower up to the ledge Tommy was sitting on, and the boy's anxiety shot through the sky. His mind did not like this man, and now he's coming closer? he stood up, stepping back on the thin ledge. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man was quick to notice him moving, and stopped to look up at him again. He was silent for a second, like he was taking something in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I'm not gonna hurt you Tommy. Don't worry.” The man said, a twinge of regret in his voice. “I'm gonna just come up a little more, then I'm gonna help you get down where I was, okay?” His voice was familiar, but Tommy couldn't place why.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite what Tommy's mind was yelling, he nodded. He could trust him for now right?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man nodded back, then continued to tower until he was level with the ledge. He took a step forward, and Tommy took one back. The man put a hand up. “I'm just gonna give you a pearl so you can get back down, alright?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy took a breath in, then nodded again. Then the man held out his other hand, with an ender pearl in it. Tommy took it into his hand, careful not to touch the other man, quickly pulling his hand away from him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man took a breath, then threw his pearl back down to where he was standing. Tommy looked at his own, then threw it around the same spot the man had. He landed a few feet away from him, and instinctively took a step back. He was far enough away from the man, but his body moved on its own. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man seemed to deflate. “Do you remember me?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy shook his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man showed no change. “Oh.. Well, my name's Dream.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The name sure did mean something in Tommy's head, but he couldn't put the pieces together with so much missing. So all he did was nod. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dream was silent for a few seconds. “Can you speak?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy shrugged, he hadn't tried. So he did. And it burned. No matter how softly he tried to get his voice out, it felt like he swallowed lava. The only comfortable way was to whisper. He looked over at Dream. “I can whisper” he said softly</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dream hummed, like he was thinking. “That's fine.” he started, though he trailed off. He pointed to a thin man made path, still facing Tommy. “We’re going that way, okay?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy nodded, and Dream led the way. They made their way over the thin path, and onto a much thicker one, and Tommy’s thoughts went haywire. This was significant somehow, but it was blank space in his mind. He became worried as he looked around. There was dirt at one end of the path, and for some reason he didn't like looking at it. Dream was walking towards a portal, but Tommy started lagging behind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dream?” He whispered, coming to a stop. “Is this a bad place?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dream’s walking faltered, and he almost tripped. He turned around to Tommy, seeing the worried look on his face, and took in a breath. “No. Well, a lot has happened here, but it's not bad.” he waves his hands about, trying to find the words. “I know this isn't exactly a nice place to be in for you, but it's the only way to get where we want to go.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy decided to trust him, slowly and carefully walking over to where Dream was. His nerves only became worse when he saw there was no way past the portal Dream was walking to. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do we have to go through that?” he asked slowly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>----------</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>TommyInnit tried to swim in lava</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The whole server saw it clearly. A haunting sight that needed no explanation. Tubbo had sent his friend to die.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tubbo had already started to regret his decision, it had started right after he watched Tommy walk off with Dream. He regretted it every day that passed. He wished with his whole heart he could take his decision back without dream breathing down his neck. But now it was clear. A death was on his hands, his best friend's </span>
  <em>
    <span>last </span>
  </em>
  <span>life. He felt horrible. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And the world was quiet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The only one back through the portal was Dream. He came through a few hours after the message appeared. He showed no emotion, either trying to hide behind something, or he truly didn't care. But there he was, still half way through the portal, with Tubbo staring him down. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tubbo was barely holding himself together. He wanted to lash out at Dream, fight him or at least scream at him until his lungs gave out. But he knew he would lose any fight. He knew that screaming wouldn't get them anywhere. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he was silent. He gave Dream the opportunity to explain what happened before he yelled. Before he fought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dream told him what happened. And then he was gone, like a messenger with other news to give. But Tubbo just sat there, next to the portal, like someone would come through. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And even through the loud hums of the portal, the world was growing more and more silent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a chance he'd come back as a ghost, right? Dream had proposed the idea two days after the message appeared. His words were thought out, like he had been thinking about it all night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dream had a plan. Every now and then he'd check on Logstead, and look around for Tommy’s ghost. It seemed as if he wanted desperately to mend something. Like finding Tommy would fix it all. Tubbo wasn't entirely sure if he meant the tone or if he was faking, but agreed anyways.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No one had seen Ghostbur in two days.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was five days after the message when Tubbo received a message from Dream. It was short, but Tubbo knew what it meant right away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Dream whispers to you:</span>
  </em>
  <span> I found him</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tubbo was up and away from his desk before his mind could even process what he was doing. He was running to the portal. He didn't dare go through, just stayed out on the steps. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His mind raced. It felt like hours as he sat there, his mind bringing up every possibility of what could go right and wrong. What would he look like? Would he hate him? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His mind was pulled from his thoughts when he heard someone coming through the portal. When he looked up, he saw Dream. He looked defeated, sad almost. Dream met Tubbo’s eyes, and simply sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tubbo’s heart dropped. “What's wrong?” He asked almost immediately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I have to prove to him that portals won't kill him.” Dream said, then took a deep breath. It sounded like he was gonna cry. He shook his head before turning back towards the portal. “We’ll be through in a second.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tubbo could only think of what had happened between the two. What would make Tommy come to that conclusion? He didn't want to think about it. He would ask Dream later. Right now, though, he had to focus on Tommy. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dream was the first one to step through the portal again, but turned back to look through it. A boy followed him through this time, pale gray with a familiar red and white shirt. Once he was through, he immediately grabbed his arms as if he was cold. Reddened hands wrapped around pale arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy. He looked sad. His eyes had no color, other than red tear stains that ran down his cheeks, similar to the gold ones Ghostbur had. His shirt was muted, the vibrant, bright red of the sleeves now turned pale. It seemed all the color had drained into his hands and neck, both sharing a painful red that seemed to crackle out and blur against his pale skin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And when he looked at Tubbo, he frowned. An angry and confused look bloomed over his face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tubbo wanted to cry. He had been trying his hardest to hold it in, but his best friend’s look broke his heart. Tears started to gather in his eyes, but he blinked them away best he could. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Tommy? Do you… do you remember me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy shivered in the overworld air. “I remember what you did.” He whispered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tubbo squeezed his eyes shut, forcing the tears back. His heart dropped to his stomach. What could he even remember? “Do you hate me?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy was quiet for a second, and Tubbo opened his eyes. Tommy looked distant. Thinking on how to reply, finally he shook his head. “It's the only memory I have of you. I really want to hate you, but I can't.” Tommy sighed, and Tubbo didn't know if he should be happy or not. “Do you know where Ghostbur is?” He asked, and it took a second for Tubbo to reply.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No one has seen him in almost a week. Why?” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy sighs again, and looks back at the portal. “He's the only one I remember. I remember who he used to be in Pogtopia too. Can I go back to the nether? It's too cold here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tubbo nodded, smiling at him. “Yeah. I'll just talk to Dream for a minute, then I have something to give you.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy nodded back at him, giving a small smile. He turned to leave, and as soon as he was through the portal, Tubbo spoke.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was facing Dream, tears flowing freely from his eyes. “He only remembers me exiling him.” He took a second to breathe, wiping his eyes. “Do you know why he thought portals would kill him?” He knew dream had something to do with it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Dream stiffened. He let out a breath neither of them knew he was holding, and looked down. “I said it to him. That's my fault.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tubbo only took a deep breath before turning to walk back to L’manburg. “I need to bring him something.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tubbo had so many questions, all flashing so fast in his mind. Most of them were </span>
  <em>
    <span>Why?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Why was he cold? Why did he only remember one thing about Tubbo but everything about Wilbur? Why did he only whisper?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His mind came to a hult as he opened the right chest in his house. A book was at the top. “What TommyInnit Remembers.” A book Tubbo had spent those long three days staring at. He made it hoping that Tommy would come back, hoping that he could give it to him. And he could. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>At first he only planned on giving him the book, but now that he won't leave the nether, Tubbo thought it best to bring him some basic things and a set of tools. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After he filled his inventory with things to give to Tommy and a new chest for him, he was off back to the nether. He held the book in his hands, wanting it to be the first thing he gave him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the nether portal, he couldn't help but worry. He knew it helped Ghostbur, but what if Tommy thought it was dumb or something? What if he didn't want anything from Tubbo? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shook the thoughts from his head and went through.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He found Tommy sitting across from the portal, against the wall of the small hub. He looked up at Tubbo, a half smile coming to his face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hi again Tommy. I brought you a couple things.” Tubbo said with a smile. “I thought you might want to make a house out here if you wanted me to help.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy stood up against the wall and nodded. “That seems like a good idea.” He said, shrugging.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They walked over the thick path to the netherrack thin one that branched off, Tubbo following Tommy. They walked over the path until they got to a clearing with a thin ledge and tower near it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I want to have it here. I like sitting up there.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tubbo nodded with a smile. “Alright! One second though, I have to put this stuff down.” He placed the chest down, emptying the items he wanted to give to Tommy in it. When he closed it, he placed the book on top. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy looked over at the book, and Tubbo spoke. “Before you say its dumb, I thought it could help you like it helped Ghostbur.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy picked the book up and read the cover. Tubbo smiled when he saw Tommy’s expression soften. “Its not dumb, thank you Tubbo.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few days later, when Tubbo went to visit Tommy again, his house in the nether was empty. It was a common occurrence, Tommy did like to explore the nether when he had nothing else to do, but Tommy’s book caught his eye. It was open a few pages in, the quill laying on the table next to it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tubbo felt a little bad to read it, he didn't want to snoop, but Tommy had said it was fine the last time he came. Of course that time Tubbo hadn’t opened it. He took a breath before flipping back to the first page.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span class="u">
      <span>What TommyInnit Remembers</span>
    </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-a very blurry family, replaced by a new one</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-growing up?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-the name Technoblade</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-who Ghostbur used to be, Wilbur</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-i</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-there's a lot missing here</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-the beginning of the dreamsmp. It was so open</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-wars? How many?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-Schlatt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-a podium </span>
</p><p>
  <span>-a cave, Pogtopia. I remember a lot of it</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-Wilbur going crazy</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-a flash of color</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-a loud boom</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-Tubbo on the wall, standing with me and Dream</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-a boat ride in the rain, and </span>
  <strike>
    <span>a green sweatshirt</span>
  </strike>
  <span> Dream</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-Logsteadshire, all of it</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-Ghostbur</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-</span>
  <strike>
    <span>i don't like Tubbo?</span>
  </strike>
  <span> I like Tubbo a lot</span>
</p><p>
  <span>-i was alone</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That page was cut short. Tubbo turned to the next one. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-listening to music on a bench with Tubbo</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was the last in the book. Tubbo felt tears in his eyes, trying his hardest not to cry on Tommy’s book. He closed it quickly, setting it down on the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And through the calm sounds of the nether, the world roared to life. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello again!<br/>this book has become my hyperfixation i sw e a r<br/>i have so many ideas for what characters look like and lore and everything god--<br/>if youd like, i could make some shorter stories off of this concept!<br/>please leave a comment! i love reading them and they give me ideas for what to write next!<br/>thank you for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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